Losing a spouse is hard, and in so many different ways. There’s the sheer loss of a life mate itself. But there’s also the mountain of paperwork, the endless financial changes and decisions, maybe a possible change of household. At some point, you get all that behind you, and you want to travel again.
After I finally got myself “settled” after losing my husband in 2020, I eventually wanted to travel again. My late husband, Tom, and I had traveled extensively during our 37-year marriage. We spent the summer after our wedding in Europe, we traveled later to visit friends living in Europe – and to explore the newly re-united Germany in 1992. We traveled to the Arctic Coast of Russia to adopt our third child, and we later took that child to bicycle through Amsterdam, Bruges, and Versailles. With all that travel under my belt, I was once waved toward the “experienced traveler” line at a large airport, even with 3 kids and a stroller in tow.
Yet I couldn’t bring myself to travel at all as a new widow. I daydreamed of a new husband appearing out of the blue to take me on a river cruise in Europe. I don’t know who I thought that husband would be, but after signing up for every dating app on the web, it soon became clear that this travel “plan” – or fantasy – wasn’t happening.
Discovering Solo Travel After Loss
At some point, I faced the reality that some handsome, older man would not be showing up to sweep me off to Europe, pay for the trip, or make sure I was safe and protected from whatever I thought I couldn’t possibly handle by myself.
I began exploring possibilities for traveling alone and was stunned to find something called “solo travel” – tours and trips abroad just for people traveling alone.
In a moment of “what the heck,” I picked up the phone and booked a trip to Portugal. I had never been to Portugal, and that was the point. I didn’t want to go someplace I had been with my husband; I wanted to start making travel memories all my own.
My First Solo Trip as a Widow
Was I scared to death? Oh yeah. For this first excursion, I planned nothing but the tour – no going early, no staying late. I chose to fly through Amsterdam, an airport I knew fairly well and that had felt “safe” and well organized on previous trips. I had a firm “stay with the group” mentality. I stuck like glue to the others in my tour group, never having meals by myself or doing any wandering off on my own at all.
But late in the tour, I finally decided to take one little baby step toward truly traveling alone. In a small town in Portugal, I took a short walk alone. Nothing special, nothing crazy. I walked around the block, found a little store, and bought myself a soft drink, using what little Portuguese I knew.
And I did it!!!!
This one little baby step toward solo travel awakened the old Cindy who explored European cities confidently and with cheerful curiosity, with joy. After that one little walk, within months I was ditching a tour group to explore Montreal and Quebec for hours by myself. And by the end of 2025, I was going off to Spain completely alone, with no tour group at all…and I had the time of my life.
A New Chapter Through Solo Travel
My travels have reshaped me into a new person in my widowhood. I’ve taken charge of my own life, spending my time as I please, developing myself into the person I’ve always wanted to be.
Little did I know, when I took that first short walk by myself in a Portuguese town, that I would soon blossom into my new, joyous, exciting post-widowhood self.
Cynthia Coe is the author of several novels and non-fiction books. Travel with her through time by reading her novels “Knitting Through Time” and “Knitting Under the Orange Trees.” To view her complete list of books, please visit her Amazon Author Page at this link.
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Travels With Cindy 